The VA Regional Office in North Little Rock, AR fucked over me again with another denial on the VA claims, came as old news to me the claims were denied. To many years of bad blood & animosity between the VA and I and too much hate, evil and power involved to make sure they never are. I will of course appeal the decision when I get around to it and that’s if I get around to it, not with any hopes of ever having them awarded but to be nothing more than a perpetual pain the ass in the side of the VA Regional Office. As long as the VA can keep me locked in poverty, the VA can keep me locked in a disease ridden little graveyard town and in a generalized area that is run by and fueled on nothing but hate and ill will. But as the saying goes all things do end eventually and so it will be with the VA and Morrilton. One of my nephews was awarded a 20% disability from the VA Regional Office shortly after I filed the request through Veterans ON–line Application for him but then he is also straight and in with the inner circle power wheel here, so once again that came as no surprise for me either. The non-service connected disability pension wasn’t even mentioned.
Sexual Impotence, The Subject Most Won’t Even Admit Let Alone Talk About:
I’m going to have to disagree with anyone’s assessment the sexual libido is purely mental instead of a physical thing. I’m an openly gay non-compensated Vietnam veteran and have been clinically impotent since military days 67-69. Before entering military service and yes I did serve in silence I had a great sexual life with no problems with erections. Sometime during mid 1968 during military service and following service I had a great deal of trouble achieving an erection with other people both male and female and following separation from active service although I woke up with morning erections as strong as before entering the military. Just recently through an urologist in Conway I discovered I have low testosterone levels and some of you might wish to give that some thought and have your testosterone level checked, and these days it’s simply a matter of simple blood work.
And here’s the kicker people and pardon my colorful word but those God Damned Frankenstein freak doctors at Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System have known what the problem was since the days of Vietnam and have refused to treat me or other veterans for the very problem all the way through, but rather in favor of turning us into lab rats and specimens instead. I won’t go into the host of other problems the VA is refusing to acknowledge or treat but impotence and low sexual libido is most assuredly in the top ten. As long as The DOD and The Department of Veterans Affairs can keep veterans locked in poverty, the VA can keep veterans locked in generalized localities and use and heard the veteran like cattle, veterans are replenishable and expendable with an endless flow coming though the doors every single day.
Neurological (nerve) damage, an enlarged prostate and stress are all contributing factors. At 65 I am now totally impotent and my libido is one level above zero and now very seldom do I even have morning erections. While mentally may play a great deal in it, physical problems play an even greater role and for years following military service my sexual libido was at peak 115%, however the physical part of it simply wasn’t there anymore, to state it in other terms the generator was running on full power, but the connecting wires to the appliance simply were either broken, corroded or the appliance was faulty or corroded. I won’t even go into some of the things the hypocritical church people used to tell me for being impotent and why God wasn’t going to restore it to me, the self same hypocrites who were beating a path to the doors of the closet queers in the wee hours of the morning and whoring around on their wife’s.
Further Thoughts About The VA Regional Office In North Little Rock, Arkansas:
When the VA Regional Office in North Little Rock Arkansas does deny my claims and they will eventually get around to it probably in about two or three years or so if I’m lucky that is, I plan on appealing their decision not with even the smallest hope the claims will ever be awarded (to much hate and power involved to see that they aren’t) but rather so I can send the VA Regional Office another one of my letters letting them know precisely what the hate filled lying coward that messed it for me in Louisiana can go with himself. There are tons too much, power; greed, hate and outright evil involved for my claims to ever be awarded or any medications to be provided through the (Frankenstein doctors horror of horror stories) at Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System. I’ll also be mailing along with my appeal a picture letting them know why I don’t need sex (my government fuck’s me every day as it is) and to add a few more drops of bad blood to the witches caldron or should that have been the devils caldron, and it’s my sincerest wish the VA Regional office reads into the appeal, and statement of the case all of the hate, animosity and ill will the hate filed lying coward has shown to me, myself & I and my family over the years here in this cesspool nowhere mud hole town. The only reason it was done was out of nothing more than hate, greed and to hurt me anyway the coward could deny me and hurt me.
I’m no longer even working toward the goal of having my VA claims approved not that they ever will be, they’d do me about as much good now as all of my prayers have done through the long empty, wasted poverty filled years since I came out to a Douche bag North Little Rock VA psychologist named Dr. Lewis Neal in the early 1980’s. Dr. Neal’s mind and personal impression (and I use the title Dr. with extreme contempt) of me was already formed at first sight and before the interview even began, one of those VA jerks who smiles to your face and feels only animosity and treachery for you on the inside. It’s further my sincerest wish the lying hate filled coward where ever he is, has at least the chance to read this Blog post and it’s also one of my fondest wishes (and if I had the power to bring down curse’s I would do so) the lying hate filled coward has as least the very same curse dropped down into his lap and The Department of Veterans Affairs faces total disgrace, ruination and eventual Collapse of The Department Of Veterans Affairs and all of her Regional Offices as well. I certainly will not wish for those things for others, and not even one of my fellow veterans, the very things a closed minded hate filled lying coward apparently has the power and connections to continue denying me. For my part of it the VA Regional office in North Little Rock can hold my claims and any benefits that might otherwise be due me, hostage and deny them indefinitely all they have ever been and all they will ever be are myths and pipe dreams, spewed out by the VA Regional Office to string me along. As for me giving the VA Regional Office any kind of co-operation, I’d sooner try co-operating with a spitting cobra in the wild. And the really rotten part about all of it is the VA Regional Office will get to put untold numbers of Iraqi veterans through the very same treachery, string along and outright lies.
Got Banned By KLRT Channel 16 And Account Canceled:
OH guess what dudes and dudettes? I got banned and my account canceled at KLRT channel 16 from posting further comments on KLRT because someone got royally Pissed Off about my responses to their comments about me. That’s some more of that Bryant and Arkansas hate stuff when they barge into the kitchen and the heat turns out to be to hot for them, boy I’ll sure get even you, I’ll just get you banned completely, I’ll just report you yeah that’s what I’ll do.
Well I just dropped KLRT Channel 16 as one of the news website’s I visit and I will get over it and I will move on past it and KLRT will like most of the bad experiences and the two years in the Military, the bad times in Vietnam & with CAVHS and The VA Regional Office in North Little Rock as well as a great deal of people here in Morrilton will in time become buried under tons of blessed fog. This is also some of the very same tactics used by some of the doctors and staff at CAVHS and The VA Regional Office and staff in North Little Rock, AR Like CAVHS and The VA Regional Office, KLRT doesn’t especially take kindly to gays and bans without even so much as a by your leave. Goodbye KLRT wish I could say it was nice visiting, but the truth is I can’t and I won’t. Hmmm would appear the cowards are at it again I see, so what else is old news in Arkansas.
Gays, Lesbians And Minority Groups:
Blacks have long been recognized as a monitory group, as have several ethnic groups including Native Americans and Hispanics. Gays and Lesbians have been persecuted throughout history, as have Blacks, Native Americans and even Protestants and religious leaders who were not of the Catholic faith, during the rein of Henry VIII. Not withstanding progress and change happened through the years either through open revolts, wars and conflicts, The Magna Carta, The Founding Fathers, The Declaration of Independence, The War of Independence, The Constitution and the Bill of Rights are prime examples.
Further Through peaceful and some not so peaceful demonstrations, through assembly of the people and through marches. Through the riots of Stonewall, long since recognized as the turn point in gay history and through the works of the poet Allen Ginsberg.
North Little Rock Arkansas VA Regional Office
The historic repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the allowance of gays and lesbians to serve openly in all branches of the Military to name only one, is and was on par with the desegregation of Blacks serving in the Military during the Administration of Former President Harry S Truman. If so what would be the channels for adding gays and lesbians to a monitory group status who by their very orientation are non-recognized monitories in the work force as well as in American Society. Would such a bill be possible and how would such a bill be composed and drafted, how would it then be submitted and presented and would such a bill stand a chance of passing, a time may very well come possibly even in the near future when such a bill will be drafted and submitted. Any gay or Lesbian person that qualifies in a minority group is automatically granted special and preferential treatment under the articles of that minority, this places an extreme unfair advantage on any Gay or Lesbian who doesn’t qualify under a minority group.
C-File Treachery by The Department Of Veterans Affairs & The VA Regional Office:
Finally got a copy of my entire C-File, over 30 years worth of them weighing about 20 to 25 pounds from the VA Regional Office and only then after an attorney filed a Freedom Of Information Act. I haven’t read through the entire file, because of the sheer number of documents contained in them, but one glaring condition sticks out like a big ugly sore thumb throughout them and the condition has been on the VA books since on or about 1959 as compensative and is reflected before, during military service, while serving in Vietnam & at the time of separation and throughout the years following military service.
Since breezing through only parts of this C-File I am no longer surprised why the Department of Veterans Affairs doesn’t want me to be represented by a qualified legal source and why the VA Regional office doesn’t want anyone digging through these records. I am further not surprised by the Department Of Veterans Affairs holding this C-File hostage and applied endless miles of red tape, intentionally delaying them while dissecting this C-File until they could find a way to either delay them further until a reason for a denial could be found, these VA claims were intentionally deadlocked and the entire deck intentionally stacked against me from the word go.
Little wonder the number of claims is hopelessly backlogged.
North Little Rock Arkansas VA Regional Office
I guess the Occupy Wall Street protesters doesn’t feel veterans are that important or anyone else for that matter, one would think the OWS would be camped out on the lots of the VA Regional Office in North Little Rock, & CAVHS in Little Rock and the white house parking lots for better and fairer treatment of veterans and conditions in Arkansas not to mention veterans along with them, but apparently veterans doesn’t count, unless of course veterans want to join their movement and even then veterans would only be tolerated and wouldn’t be welcome to protest against Veterans Affairs corruption. But then that’s the way it is Arkansas these days protest start off pretty good and then just like a big stinky fart in the wind just kind of thin out and drift off into the blow zone. One would think in view of the number of veterans and especially homeless veterans and the homeless living in Arkansas tons of them would be coming from all over the state of Arkansas and jumping on the bandwagon like flies & stink in a shit pile.
Perhaps the OWS protest leaders have taken a deal of some kind and sold out the movement or never really had the guts for it in the first place, while half heartedly keeping the movement alive or only wanted a little bit of public attention in Arkansas because it just happened to be a world wide movement. People the Hippies of Woodstock & the 1960’s generation would have called them a sell out to the establishment and would have launched an all out protest against the Occupy Wall Street Protesters. Not much is heard of the Occupy Wall Street protesters these days, most likely because the movement like most things in Arkansas has become stagnated and bogged down to the point of uselessness and obscurity. The Civil Rights movement would have never stood still for such a small turnout and Central High School sure as hell never did.
Wonder how many people working in the VA Regional Office and Central Arkansas Veteran Health Care System have or are part of the Klu Klux Clan who preach hate and spew out poison, or how many of those people in the VA Regional or CAVHS has ties to any of them? And just how many lawmakers have ties to them or are actual members of the Klu Klux Klan and other hate groups? Because that’s a few of the places where they’re doing the real damage. I forgot to mention many of them are asshole-fishing buddies with members of the justice system, the judges and the attorney’s.
Like all hate groups all they’ve done is gone underground. So let us never forget them and the hurt and wrong they’ve caused, so they can never do it again. Because CAVHS is a research facility only, in short CAVHS is nothing more than Frankenstein’s Laboratory and a training ground for a bunch of Igor’s’. I’m 50 miles west of them and I won’t even ride the van to seek treatment with them. A doctor in the ER here in Morrilton called on my behalf recently to set up an appointment for me, he was around my age, black and well remembers the times of the 1960’s, the 1970’s and the time of the draft. When he came in to inform me, he stated, “R everybody in the VA knows you” and my reply “I can guarantee you they didn’t have anything good to say about me”.
I knew then and there it would be nothing more than a cold wasted effort. And had it not been for the intercession of higher authority in the medical field he would most likely have never made it to medical school. My sleeping cycles in Morrilton are out the window and which (CAVHS couldn’t care less about), as is any real type of medical care, I sleep whenever I get to go to sleep. I’m not one bit surprised a VA doctor at CAVHS got chewed out for taking the time to talk with examine a veteran, I suppose someone in CAVHS thought they would use me as a free freaking lab rat to dump whatever poisons they cared to dump in me and pull whatever amount of blood they thought they were entitled to, and they found out it wasn’t going to happen. There was attorney and he was not in the state of Arkansas decided in the recent past to represent me. I stated up front with the legal firm I wasn’t going through any more C&P exams with the VA they’re nothing more than delaying tactics perpetrated by the VA to keep their records updated about veterans and the veteran always comes out the looser. I was further under the impression all correspondence with the VA would be handled by the attorney, the attorney assured me they could and would handle the case with existing records. I wonder what bag of VA lies & shit the Regional Office in North Little Rock saw fit to send that law firm and exactly what kind deal the Regional Office cut with the attorney.
It’s sure as hell is not the first time it’s happened with an attorney and the VA because lest anyone think the VA will not use every loophole and trick in the book and some that aren’t even in the book against any veteran they don’t want represented, then think about 10,000 times and then ponder it 10,000 times more. The VA Regional Office then sends me a large pack of letters and forms stating they needed more information about the conditions I was claiming as if the VA doesn’t already have decades of medical records on me already.
This attorney then comes back to me with some high pressure tactic demanding I keep any C&P exams the VA cares to throw my way or him and his firm wasn’t going to represent me and at that point I advised him in precise full military gutter language precisely what he could do with his representation. CAVHS doctors might take it gracefully in public, but you should see the open festering sores they become when in private and some of the flags they place in the medical records of veterans. As for North Little Rock its nothing more than a big bag of horror stories and forget the line “(best medial care in Arkansas, its a lie straight out of hell from the word go and doesn’t exist) you want reasonably good VA medical care take it to some other state. Get this I couldn’t even get Nicotine patches without lab work, since when does nicotine patches require blood work. CAVHS’s excuse (and it is a red tape excuse only) medications change the blood gas’s well to hell with them, VA doesn’t compensate me and has slammed every door in my face long ago, so the way I figure it is, their not entitled to even one teeny, tiny little drop of blood from me.
All Of The Years Are Gone Department Of Veterans Affairs:
Some would say you brought it on yourself, in fact VA psychiatrist and all psychologists used to beat the hell out of that line every time I would go and talk with one of them. Well all except for the one that treated me in New Orleans that is. As I’ve said before all of my VA claims were denied in early 2003 shortly after returning to Arkansas. Received this little ole letter from The Department of Veterans Affairs out of Washington in today’s mail (07/10/2010), wrote refused three times on the front of it and FOVBA on the back of it and popped it back into the little ole mailbox. In fact didn’t even give a damned what the contents of it were. Department of Veterans Affairs all of the years are gone now and you were never there for me when it might have done some good and made at least a few dreams possible. Any letters I receive from the Department of Veterans Affairs or any veteran’s organization for that matter with the exception of a newsletter from The VVAW I refuse them and return them. I haven’t had the pleasure as yet though of handing out one of my standard form letters to any VFW, American Legion or DAV members on a membership drive yet but I sure got em standing by at the door. As I’ve stated in previous comments and Blog post all of my VA claims are now dead and buried for all time to come and I’ve slammed the door on the VA for all time remaining to me. I’ve no intentions whatsoever of letting anyone ever drag that kind of emotional hell inside me again not ever. Let em all go be with the liars, drug addicts, alcoholics and favorites that got all of the high dollar retroactive VA awards dumped down of top them, because I sure as hell was never one of them. So if I brought all this onto myself then so be it and I will live with, it, it’s no different than all of the rest of the doors that were slammed in my face over the years. Only this time around I choose to do it with full knowledge and willingly. And now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has been repealed the Department of Veterans Affairs and that does include the VA Regional Office in North Little Rock will be obliged to deal with more gay veterans than they even care to think about, let them eat shit and die. Oh I still get the occasional compulsions to reopen them, but these days I just ride it out until it goes back into whatever slam pit from the sub-conscious it crawled out of.
Copied in part From The Associated Press:
The Appeals Court has ordered VA to pay retroactive compensation to Vietnam Veterans with Chronic Lymphocyte Leukemia and flatly stated the Department of Veterans Affairs has contributed substantially to the sense of national shame. The remaining two veterans in my family other than myself, one a Vietnam who passed away on July the 4th 2001 (from Chronic Lymphocyte Leukemia) and the other a Vietnam Era veteran who passed away just recently in Sept 2008 are deceased now along with most of my immediate family. Whatever type of assistance or compensation the VA might offer to me now, I will throw it right back in their faces (and anyone that approaches me on my deathbed, regardless of position will have an ice cold pitcher of water tossed on them & told to “get the fuck out my face”) and my door shall remain closed to the VA forever. The fact is I don’t even accept Birthday gifts anymore, I truly cannot see celebrating another empty poverty, depression filled year where a bunch of closed minded assholes motivated by nothing other than hate and resentment in and surrounding Morrilton got to decide every bit of the content that went into filling it. The truth is I never had to go into the freaking Military in the first place and I sure as hell never had to stay in it after I went into in it, it wasn’t because of patriotism I was to scared not to go.
The Little Rock/North Little Rock Veterans Administration Deceptions, Lies and Cover-ups:
I hope to bring to the national consciousness the type of antagonistic and anti-gay mentality that is prevalent throughout the entire VA Regional Office and VA Medical Facilities in Little Rock/North Little Rock, Arkansas those in the North Little Rock AR VA Regional Office, Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System Eugene J. Towbin Health Care Center in North Little Rock and McClellan Hospital in Little Rock, AR. There are no less than five (See Hall of Shame) recognized and active hate groups in the State of Arkansas, and I have little doubt that the Little Rock/North Little Rock VA Regional Office and VA Medical Facilities are controlled by a large number of them. I guess psychotic is as good a label as any for the VA doctors in Little Rock/North Little Rock, AR to label me with. I’m sure as hell not the first and most surely will not be the last one to be given that label. No one can pin down all of the reasons for depression and PTSD, but the VA in their government trained, sponsored and paid for idiocy can pin it right on down to a few specifics woo Hoooooo.
A lot of assholes in the VFW, The DAV, The American Legion and all of the other veterans outreach groups are very quick to point out that I lied on induction papers, well what else is old news & how many other gay veterans were obliged to have to lie.
How many lies has the Military, The Government and The Department of Veterans Affairs given over the years? What I think The Department of Veterans Affairs is really pissed off about is gay veterans and I across the country made it. Served honorably in silence and never got ousted and discharged in disgrace and so much for their stinking “threat to national security excuse”, I have to wonder at times if it would really have made any difference had I answered yes to any homosexual tendencies. In those days Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell wasn’t even heard of. I really feel The Department of Veterans Affairs, has never given any thought to even the remotest possibility the Gay Movement would ever obtain the political clout that it has now.
My theory for a large number of problems faced by gay veterans in Arkansas is based in part from my experiences and conversations with the Regional Office, VA Counselors and Outreach Counselors, McClellan Hospital, The VFW, The American Legion, The DAV and various Veterans Outreach organizations. Some have called this ranting and ravings against the man and a cold cruel world so be it, no apologies are offered and none are given. If it were up to those people these so called “Vanity Sites” wouldn’t even be on the web. You would have to submit it to their advisory board and it would be the same as trying to get VA compensation, if not impossible, damned near it. And lest I forget them, all VA service reps (every single one of them) in all political offices, especially Arkansas are on the take and are nothing more than paid VA puppets, so go ahead and contact your representatives if you think it will do you any good. Not even worth the time, cost of postage nor effort it take to contact them.
Some have told me I don’t know how the VA system works and that may be true. But I sure as hell know when the entire deck is stacked against me (and triply so for a gay Vietnam veteran). My observations here are based on a lifetime of lies perpetrated by the Department of Veterans Affairs and small town Society in this neck of the woods. My service dates (all low income were draftees) were 9 May 1967 to 1 May 1969. For the two years of my active service and up until mid 1974, I hid my sexual preference. In 1980 I was awarded a Non-Service connected pension for nerves and lack of income. Dr. Lewis Neal of the Little Rock VA Regional Office would terminate this in June 1982 because of a re-evaluation report. There is little doubt my Sexual Orientation was a deciding factor in that denial, (see Discrimination Veterans Administration). Another lie spewed by the VA re-evaluation is “just a mere formality”.
Though I am mostly self-taught, a good deal of my training comes from the Universities of Ole Screw U, also known as The United States Army and The Veterans Administration. I was even presented with a nice 8×10 certificate “Suitable For Framing” from The University of Screw U Department of The United States Army appropriately titled Honorable Discharge.
In his report Dr. Neal stated my grammar and diction were consistent with my ninth grade education and my self-professed Bisexuality. Although the report presented by Dr Neal is highly discriminatory and inflammatory it does present all of the symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) with the exception of the statement about my self-professed Bisexuality. On or about 1998 or 1999 then Adjudication Officer Fredrick H King deliberately lied to the Little Rock Office of Senator Hutchinson in which he stated that I had informed (Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System) CAVHS that I wished to withdraw my claim for compensation due to lack of transportation. Truth is however I had informed CAVHS that I wish to cancel a medical appointment due to lack of transportation.
I view the time I spent in the Military as a curse, nothing more nothing less and dealings with the VA and VA doctors, The DAV, The VFW, The American Legion here in Arkansas and elsewhere as an even bigger curse. And you will not find any gratitude in this book for even one single one of them. The fact is I’ve never been welcomed by the Gay or Straight world. What little sexual life I had was taken away by the two years of Military service, and gives every indication of making it a lifelong deal.
Little Rock and Arkansas is so small, impoverished and un-important that no one will get involved. It’s one of those states where everyone feels that it nobodies business. Since on or about 1976 as an openly Gay Disabled Vietnam Veteran I have subsisted on a small Social Security Disability check and the VA has denied me service connection on all types of compensation. And even the Social Security Check has been terminated a couple of times out of retaliation.
The most recent VA denial was in early 2003, and I have suffered from PTSD since day one of the Military and extreme panic attacks since the last part of 1968, Vietnam, & to the present. I am currently living and have lived below the poverty level social blacklisting & due to psychological difficulties stemming from and or aggravated by my Military service and since being separated from the Military in 1969. Since that time and because of the mental anguish they cause and the brick wall Attitude of the VA I have decided my claims are hopeless and dead and buried, never to be re-opened again.
An article in the Advocate Online Trans Folks Who Are Unemployed, Homeless, or in Massive Debt
Does the Advocate Online Or Any Gay Rights Publications print or publish any stories about gay veterans and their fight for equal treatment through the VA, Their unemployment, Their Homelessness, Their Massive Debts “HELL NO. THEY DO NOT”
Well just whoop DE fucking doo, cry me a fucking river. Veterans both gay and straight are also unemployed, facing massive debts and are homeless as is the rest of those in the country facing the very same identical problems, so just what the hell makes you Trans Folks so special or any more entitled than the rest of us in the country. Again I say” big fucking deal” as I have been told all through the years by every VA service rep I’ve ever talked to, by every psychologist I’ve ever seen and every prospective employer I’ve ever been interviewed by and every fucking attorney in the legal field, ever since I came out of the closet in the mid 1970’s, you brought it on yourself as such Trans Folks have brought this same mess down on top of themselves. Wonder how many Trans people that one will piss off.
Trans Folks have the same opportunity as everyone in this country and are no more entitled to any special favors than the rest of us in the country. Things are tough all over, so live with it, grit your teeth and bear it, or do something to change it as all of the rest us have been forced to do through the years. I campaigned for one gay rights issue and one gay rights issue only and that was the repeal of DADT and was the culmination of over 30 years of small one room behind locked doors in small private group discussions, which began, in the late 1960.s. All other gay rights issues are strictly not relevant to me. If you are not part of the solution then By God you are part of the problem.
Veterans both gay and straight have never been welcome in the gay world (and that’s a cold hard fact) nor have other and I gay veterans even been welcome around straight veterans. The only thing that has ever been welcome is our time, our donations and our support. Even now after gays are allowed to serve openly in the military, they dare not come out to The Department Of Veterans Affairs and I say to you the fight for the rights of gay veterans through the Department Of Veterans Affairs will be a long and hard fought one. The repeal of DADT was just one small victory which brings those rights one step closer, those in the VA who stand with gay veterans and stand up for them are either fired outright or are retaliated against. Nowhere in the gay world does any gay rights organization stand with and fight beside the gay veterans for benefits and health care. This is a Trans People issue; so let the Trans People deal with it. My path, my drums and my fight call’s me elsewhere. Does the Advocate Online or any gay publication print or publish any stories about gay veterans and their fight for equal treatment through the VA, their homelessness, their unemployment, their massive debts “HELL NO THEY DO NOT”, Does any gay organizations provide legal assistance to any gay veterans or bring their problems to the public “HELL NO THEY DO NOT”.
Out of all of the articles I have submitted to any gay publications including the Advocate Online, not even one of them has ever bothered to even to respond to any of my emails let alone return a phone call. Point of fact not one of them will even go near a gay veterans story but treat it instead as if it were some kind of Plague to be avoided at all cost and never even read, let alone be heard, Gay Veterans are to be called or acknowledged only when it’s time to Donate and/or support one of “THEIR FUCKING” rights “THEIR FUCKING” causes. Where are your allegiance’s, “ARE YOU PART OF THE SOLUTION OR ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM?”
Damned by The Veterans Administration And Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System
VA Disability Award and Termination 1980-1982: On or about 1980 Non Service Disability Pension awarded. The award was granted due to lack of income, nervousness, and depression. Termination of Non Service Connected Pension June 1982 B. Refusal of ACLU to represent during personal hearing through the VA Regional Office in Little Rock. Refusal of Representation by the Legal Field of AR 1982, Refusal of representation by Lambda, Refusal of representation by HRC, Refusal of assistance from all Gay Organizations and Gay Leaders. Refusal of CNN & the Advocate to even acknowledge my emails or to return my phone calls. C. Refusal of Representation by The American Legion of AR DAV, and the VFW of AR 1982.
II. VA Psychological Reports, Wrong Medical Records & Lies
Reports by Doctors Lewis Neal and Gregory Gosinki of Ft. Roots North Little Rock Division 1982, in which Dr. Neal accused me of deliberately lying to Psychiatrists and Psychologist in order to get financial gain. Dr. Neal further states that my grammar and diction are consistent with my 9th grade education and self-professed Bisexuality and substantiated by Dr Gosinki in a follow up psychological evaluation. Dr. Neal further accuses me of being lazy and stating that I have never worked a day in my life and that I am Anti Social, War Like in appearance and manner, Aggressive, Filthy in appearance and just looking for a free ride resulting in termination of Non Service Connected Pension.
Although the report presented by Dr Neal is discriminatory and inflammatory it does present all of the symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) with the exception of the statement about my self-professed Bisexuality. On or about 1998 or 1999 the Adjudication Officer Fredrick H King deliberately lied to the Little Rock Office of Senator Hutchinson in which he stated that I had informed (Central Arkansas Veterans Health Care System) CAVHS that I wished to withdraw my claim for compensation due to lack of transportation.
On or about 1998 or 1999 after requesting personal and health records from CAVHS, I received those of a Black Veteran formerly stationed at Ft. Sill Ok. After Informing CAVHS of the mistake in records I then received Admission and Discharge records from McClellan Hospital in Little Rock of another Veteran who had been recently admitted and discharged. These records included the diagnosis, prognosis and treatments for a 79-year-old White Veteran.
In each instance all required information was given to CAVHS, including my correct Social Security Number, VA Claim Number, Date of Birth my correct mailing address, along with my full name and middle initial. III. Suspicions, Medical Care, & Personal Hearings. Though I have no proof just my suspicions, that another person with the same name though not same middle name (though possibly same name with the extension Jr. added) is currently drawing compensation under my claim number and with the full knowledge of the Veterans Administration, & The North Little Rock VA Regional Office.
2001 Harvey, LA
On or about August 2001 I arrived at Gateway Recovery System. Personal records are transferred from North Little Rock Regional Office to the New Orleans Regional Office, Loyola Ave New Orleans LA. Transportation was provided to and from The New Orleans VA Medical Facility by Gateway. Further public transit was available from 6 AM until 9 PM in the evening. Following the transfer of my records from the VA Regional Office in Little Rock to New Orleans and not more than 5 months after my arrival at Gateway another veteran arrived from Pottsville AR no more than 20 miles from Morrilton to the very same location. OH and the sailor, who lied to get compensation, finally fessed up it and is now in federal prison. He was the same sailor who lived right a cross the lawn for me. The VA nurse he was sucking up to wouldn’t even speak to him after the money out & he came crawling back.
Upon obtaining legal representation in New Orleans, before my personal hearing through closed circuit television at the Regional Office the VA legal coach challenged my Attorneys right to represent me and held up the entire proceedings for about 30 minutes. This attorney had sent the VA a Power of Attorney signed by myself to the Regional Office of New Orleans. The NO VA denied having any record of it. The grounds given by the Legal Coach were the VA had no record of a Power of Attorney and that the Attorney was not VA accredited. All veterans at Gateway Recovery System (98 percent of these veterans were black) were drug addicts or alcoholics and were awarded back pay ranging in the thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars. All were of the Heterosexual orientation and all of them were in relationships with VA Nurse’s.
In defense of the Doctors at New Orleans, I have to say the overall medical care is reasonably good. My PCG Dr. Rosenberg worked with me on all counts in choosing medications and dosage’s that were right and discussed openly all of their side effects, both PRO and CON. Nor did he have any problem with changing any medications that were not working, or were producing bad side effects. Further Dr. Rosenberg worked with me on choosing which medical treatments and tests were required and which were not required.
The same can be said for my Primary Psychiatrist Dr. Maumus, who started me out on 20 mgs of Citalopram Hydrobromide. I requested that he increase it to 40mgs each day, which he did. This tended to leave me however with a very mild Marijuana feeling of giddiness and euphoria. After reporting this to Dr. Maumus it was decided to break them in half and try 20 mgs in the morning and 20 mgs in the evening. This worked fine and tended to keep the level of medication on a normal keel. To say that I felt reasonably good would be an understatement. I strongly feel that I am the target of a conspiracy and hate campaign of a Person or Group of Persons in the Little Rock Regional Office and here in Morrilton.
My Time at Gateway Recovery System
Delusions of Self Importance and Over Inflated Ego’s
My Counselor at Gateway (Rick Rose) a recovering drug addict (and Black) wasn’t fond of my attending the MCC of Greater New Orleans. He is in denial concerning his own bisexuality and went out of his way to force feed Heterosexuality down everyone’s throat, especially mine. He is a power freak, has a very bad tendency to make a point and then bury it under tons of innuendo and outright “horseshit”. The newly formed group Mental Health created by the NO VA Medical Center for non-substance abusers very soon became dubbed “Mental Anguish”. And is also one of those people who accept defeat gracefully in public and festers like an infected wound with flies and maggots behind closed doors and plots revenge.
In the beginning the Mental Health was comprised of those who don’t and never had an addiction and consisted of about 15 to 20 veterans. After Rick took over as leader, he slowly started filling the group with former Addicts and Alcoholics, with the assumption that you non-substance abusers “can get some good out of it”. Former drug addicts should never be in charge of a non-substance abuse group. They will drag it down to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) and AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) every time. Actual non-substance abusers for various reasons became fewer and fewer. When I left Gateway Recovery in the early part of 2003 there were fewer than 5 actual non-substance abusers.
Rubble, Bubble, Toll and Trouble
All of the claims I filed through the VA for compensation were dissected and dissected until the Veterans Administration could find a reason for denying all of them. My VA records were literally held hostage at the Regional Office and the NO VA Medical Center to keep from sending them on to Washington for a Board Hearing. Lambda on Decatur Street chose not to even return my phone calls or see me in person at their office. In fact a lot of the veterans at Gateway Recovery told me the VA was outright looking for a way to deny them.
It is interesting to note however all of the former addicts that Rick chose to put in Mental Help had their claims awarded in a few short weeks or months. When I left Gateway and Mental Help (A new Heterosexual Black member of Mental Health and a former Drug Addict) had his claim awarded with pay retroacting to 1968 and Rick Rose was literally crowing like a roster about it. I am not stating this here to be racist I am stating a fact.
I don’t give a damned how it makes me sound here, but I hope every God Damned one of those Addicts & Alcoholics lost or does lose every fucking penny of those awards. I feel betrayed, cheated and lied to, deceived, and outright fucked over. I consider this as reverse discrimination and favoritism in its most blatant form. In retrospect I suppose Hurricane Katrina did just that and a hell of a lot more to them.
VA Claims Held Hostage
Of interest also to note here is when I arrived at Gateway Recovery System there were countless claims at Gateway Recovery on VA’s books waiting for review & awards. Veterans who arrived at Gateway long after I had were given PCG’s almost as soon as they arrived while I was still waiting for one to be assigned. Inexplicably all VA claims pertaining to drug addicts and alcoholics began to mysteriously sail right through to completion and awards. VA claims that were filed long after mine, while my claims were buried under tons of red tape and utter stagnation. I have felt in the past and feel to this day the VA knowingly & deliberately (because of my sexual orientation) placed my entire claims in a perpetual holding pattern of limbo.
Wrong Mailing Address & Excessive Amount of Time
My old address of 900 Wills St Morrilton AR became invalid in 1988 when my Mother passed away and I informed the Post Office of my new address as well as CAVHS. Interesting little side note was that when I applied for an appeal to a former VA decision while in LA the VA informed me that an instructions manual had been mailed out to me although they refused to tell me to what address it had been sent. That was on or about the early part of 2002.
The instructions manual finally arrived at my current mailing address here in Morrilton in the final part of 2004, meaning the material had been held somewhere in the Postal Service for over a year. By current postal regulations the material should have been returned to Baton Rouge marked with an invalid or wrong address. The address printed on it was 900 Wills Street, Morrilton AR. The Return address given was somewhere in Baton Rouge LA.
The 5th Amendment (Due Process) Apparently Doesn’t Apply To Gay Veterans:
This article in the Advocate Online (Washington State Sues Florist for Refusing Gay Couple’s Wedding). The state’s attorney general contends that a local florist’s refusal to provide flowers for a gay wedding violates the state’s anti-discrimination law. This article truly piss’s me off to the max, because every regular gay person who feels they have been discriminated against can sue almost anybody for almost anything, but a gay veteran, especially a gay Vietnam veteran can’t sue anyone for anything. Why isn’t the 5th amendment protecting our due process people, the 5th amendment (Due Process) apparently doesn’t apply when it comes to gay veterans.
II here’s something you readers should give some thought to, under martial law due process applies to no one but the Military, Civil Defense, Law Enforcement (local & national) & Homeland Security. That became painfully obvious when Due Process went out of the windows following the Boston Bombing and the Watertown shooting. A preview of the lack of Due Process under Marital Law, the 5th simply ceases to exist in this case http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LrbsUVSVl8&feature=player_embedded even though the news reported residents voluntarily submitted to their homes being searched, doesn’t appear very voluntary to me. Outright forced from their homes with their hands behind their heads Gestapo style at gunpoint would be the words I would choose to describe it.
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.. Yeah I know it falls back on the God Damned asinine Feres Doctrine, which the practical effect is that the